this is what it is

this is what it is
they expect us to deal with it
and so we did and we still do
but they look at us weirdly
thinking we don’t seem right

this is what it is
a badly destroyed childhood
with a glimpse of terror too soon
even when we struggled growing up
we are still frowned upon

this is what it is
bottled up thoughts and feelings
excessive crying at twelve a.m.
making everything seem okay
because we hate being pitied

this is what it is
with never a clear understanding
about love, happiness, and family
we stopped believing in fairy tales
at such an early age

this is what it is
forced to answer such questions
when reminiscing brings such pain
being the ‘it’ subject of whispers
we just act like it doesn’t hurt

this is what it is
we are simply innocent victims
expected to blend into the rest
despite reoccurring nightmares
and the everlasting emptiness
but this is what it is

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car rides

mommy and daddy were in front, crying tears of joy
they were expecting something, saying it is a boy
i laid in the womb, listening to them all along
seems that these two people are to whom i belong

mommy and daddy were in front, smiling like little kids
all windows were opened to indulge in the cooling breeze
i sat at the back seat, watching them all along
saw them held hands as they sang their favourite song

mommy and daddy were in front, having their ears on me
trying to make out the limited words that i could speak
i was sitting at the back seat, talking all ride long
although they could not get me, they tried to play along

mommy and daddy were in front, screaming words so foreign
both of them were crying as though they were in pain
i was sitting at the back seat, observing them all along
i started to cry, reminding them we were once strong

mommy and daddy were in front, both faces very dull
the journey felt so long -this memory i should not dwell
i sat at the back seat, scanning them all along
no more wedding ring for their marriage had gone wrong