like a Burr seed attached to one’s clothes
his arms are tight for he never lets me go
despite how much i wanted us to be apart
Mr. Grudge stubbornly clings onto my heart
and when i thought Mr. Grudge actually left
i crossed paths with Lady and he came back
together with his friends who make me sick
they dance along to the pulmonary beat
there was Miss Envy who shakes me awake
adding ingredients that spark up the hate
and Madame Despise who darkens my soul
so that when i’m with Lady, i’ll turn cold
sometimes an angel sits on my shoulder
telling me that Lady isn’t entirely wrong
i tried hard to reason it out, saying that:
Mr. Grudge is exceedingly too strong
he conquers both my heart and mind
i cannot love nor to Lady ever be kind
many remedies failed –he wouldn’t budge
so how do i get rid of clingy Mr. Grudge?
the desire to be loved, to be treated specially, to escape loneliness, to have companionship – they inundate her. she has been swept off the ground too many times. those desires question the point of playing hard to get. she couldn’t bat an eye any longer. she couldn’t say no.
and she tells the other girls: take care of yourself, it’s not that important, you do not need it. but look at her, isn’t she a hypocrite?
this isn’t regret (maybe just slight remorse). she wishes she wasn’t too rash when making her decision. she wanted to see -wanted to test- how far one would take the effort to gain her love.
was she that easy? she looks back at the less mature version of herself.
she was, and she probably still is one today.
then she realised, don’t all women face these too? the acceptance of a man is quite a big deal and we tend to rush in without thinking of consequences. although some brag that being single is the best choice ever made, deep down they secretly beg for one’s attention.
the novels, the shows on the telly, some show strong women, but most -simply feeble. we were the first ones to shout yes. we were the first ones to fall. we were the first ones that end up getting hurt.