child, that’s not love

breathe in, breathe out
suck in all the nervousness
gather all the anxiety
then release them out

the heart beats a little faster
cheeks turning pink, no —scarlet
he’s here! he’s here

breathe in, breathe out

but that’s not love
these are merely feelings
a liking; an attraction
the excitement, the anticipation
these will fade
they will

because love is not a feeling
it is —instead— a choice
on whether you’re willing
to be committed (for a lifetime)
to be vulnerable (to hurt and pain)
to sacrifice (money, time, so much more)
for this person you dearly like

things go well at the beginning
thinking that this responsibility is easy
oh so wrong, so so wrong
not even two steps ahead of the starting line
and we say something so foolish
we laugh at our innocence in the future

it’s a liking, an attraction
this is simply an infatuation
whether reciprocated, it will fade
it will

trust me —i’ve been there
i was once just like you
(and they were once just like me)



dreaming of the impossible

Is it possible for love to be distributed so equally?
Human’s imperfection fails to make things just
I’ve already foreseen this, yet you told me no
You will not forsake me like the other did so
But it has happened and will happen again
To interrupt your happy world I’ll refrain
Time is up, let’s face it –you do not care
Your love for me diminishes in the air
I will search for a place called home
A spare room or my lover’s arms
As long they’re willing to love
As long they’re eager to care
Except here in everywhere,
I’ll go places high and low
So that I learn and grow
I won’t be coming back
By then my love lacks
To you who stopped
And have brought
Disinterest, woe
Enkindling the
& sorrows.

keep them hidden

the most fragile weakness
the most desirable desire
the most foolish dream
the most horrific nightmare
perhaps these are the secrets we keep among ourselves

a nightmare gone real, carving a scar
displaying a new-found fear and flaw
what that is lost now becomes a crave
we build a fantasy that makes us safe
perhaps these secrets form like a chain of events

because of the imperfections we all own
fragments of your secrets may be known
for as nasty, crooked human beings we are
our own curiosity pushes us a little too far
digging up one’s past and searching for clues
just to know why and what made you, you
perhaps this is the reason we should keep them hidden



as it is

what else is there to explain about love?
why bring science into such a beautiful thing?
emotions, expressions, deeds —compassion
love is love
there’s no other explanation
let it be as it is


be in the bliss

rash decisions bring good things too
who cares about what people think?
as long as in this spur of the moment
you and i are happy with each other
and that’s all we should care about
though with every bliss comes misery
let’s not think about this for tonight
now we reflect on the contentment
like the kisses under the moonlight

we’re gonna take away the sorrow;



this is what it is

this is what it is
they expect us to deal with it
and so we did and we still do
but they look at us weirdly
thinking we don’t seem right

this is what it is
a badly destroyed childhood
with a glimpse of terror too soon
even when we struggled growing up
we are still frowned upon

this is what it is
bottled up thoughts and feelings
excessive crying at twelve a.m.
making everything seem okay
because we hate being pitied

this is what it is
with never a clear understanding
about love, happiness, and family
we stopped believing in fairy tales
at such an early age

this is what it is
forced to answer such questions
when reminiscing brings such pain
being the ‘it’ subject of whispers
we just act like it doesn’t hurt

this is what it is
we are simply innocent victims
expected to blend into the rest
despite reoccurring nightmares
and the everlasting emptiness
but this is what it is


Mr. Grudge

like a Burr seed attached to one’s clothes
his arms are tight for he never lets me go
despite how much i wanted us to be apart
Mr. Grudge stubbornly clings onto my heart

and when i thought Mr. Grudge actually left
i crossed paths with Lady and he came back
together with his friends who make me sick
they dance along to the pulmonary beat

there was Miss Envy who shakes me awake
adding ingredients that spark up the hate
and Madame Despise who darkens my soul
so that when i’m with Lady, i’ll turn cold

sometimes an angel sits on my shoulder
telling me that Lady isn’t entirely wrong
i tried hard to reason it out, saying that:
Mr. Grudge is exceedingly too strong

he conquers both my heart and mind
i cannot love nor to Lady ever be kind
many remedies failed –he wouldn’t budge
so how do i get rid of clingy Mr. Grudge?